As the end of the semester rapidly approaches I've found that historically I become quite antsy. It's true. Usually the ansty-ness results from group projects that are habitually behind schedule, a lack of study time, insanely difficult finals, etc.
However.
I'm caught up. For that I am thankful. I've put in quite a few hours the past few weeks and I'm where I should be three weeks out from finals, which is good, but I'm still quite antsy.
For what I'm not sure, but it agitates me.
One hypothesis that I've formulated is the realization that one year from now I'll be done with school. Seriously, how cool is that, but how scary is that? I mean, I'm sitting pretty well with life (also thankful) I've got a place to live, I've got chow, I've got a dog, a good church, a loving family, great friends, a great girl, etc. So with all of those things that provide security, I'm not sure why a sense of unsettlement still seems to momentarily ensnare me.
I think what is in the back of my mind is that I'll be done with school. Like seriously, done. After seven years (hopefully) I wont have any further obligation to take a test, study formulas, and be generally under the wire, which is something that I've grown used to over the past few years. I mean, there will always be tests, deadlines, struggles, and tribulations, but at the same time, I have a hard time thinking what I will do with the time spent that I usually defer to studying or class.
But who knows, maybe good things will happen once I'm done with school? Perhaps I really need to just suck it up and know that even though I'll have crossed over the finish line with school that there will still be plenty of foxes to outwit and that a life filled with danger, caution and romance is exciting and worth living.
And now it's off to the thinking chair.
But seriously. I've not been so satisfied with life since I've been young and everything was new. I'm so thankful for people in my life. Even though right now Springfield has pushed me to the brink of agitation, it's good to know that there are people here who help to resolve the frustration and isolation of the midwest.
I guess I'll just need to be patient, again and keep my feelers out for good things. For you, O Loyal Reader, you know that's pretty much a them in this here blogification.
Thanks Xanga, thanks for your electronic ability to clear my mind.
So, I've had a bit of a debate with my brain just recently. Let me hit you with the dialogue:
Aaron: Dude, sleeping in today was perfectly awesome. Brain: Oh, I know dude. Like what were you thinking when you decided to commit to grad school, playing music, and working full time. Like, seriously? C'mon now. Aaron: Yeah, I know. It was a lot, but maybe things will slow down for a bit. Brain: Quit being optimistic. You know fully well that your life will probably suck until the semester is over. Aaron: Well, that may be the case, but at least I've decided to not do so much music. Brain: How do you feel about that. Aaron: Not the best. I hate to think that when the grit gets gritty that the first thing I'll do is ditch what i love doing. Brain: Yeah that sucks, dude. Aaron: I know, right? Brain: Right.
Brief moment of introspection:
Brain: But you've had fun recently. Aaron: Yeah, that's true. I was really pleased with Psalmody last night. I feel as though it went better than the first. Brain: Yeah, that's true. Aaron: And I've found that the 32oz boulevard wheat tends to sweeten the deal for the evening. Brain: Oh, I know dude. You need to do stuff like more often. Aaron: I know. I'm gonna work on that. Brain: Speaking of which, the stomach zone is saying you haven't had real nourishment all day. Aaron: Yeah, guilty. I've been working on papers today and I have two done. I'm thinking I might see if I can get another done and then maybe eat something. Brain: Whoa, wait. Don't do that. All you've eaten today is a rice crispy treat, a cheese stick and a cup of coffee. Aaron: Sorry man. I'll work on that. Brain: You better. Aaron: I will for reals. Brain: But, I think even though stomach is sending me signals that you should let everyone know what you've been up to lately. Aaron: Good call, Brain. Lemme work on that.
So, here's what I've been up to:
Psalmody= Rad Here's Mike and I spreading the general post Psalmody "Bro Lov"
Halloween= Rad What's fun about Halloween? When you mention to your totally rad girlfriend that you think it would be fun to be Parisian for Halloween and then a few hours later you end up with a pack of cigarettes that will never be smoked and you are both practicing French phrases in order to be authentic. And Jarrett and Sage's Halloween party was off the chain!
School= Not so rad I dont even want to talk about it.
Music= Do you know who kills right now? December 11, I'll be DJing as Something and His Falcon at Palen Music Center. Most fun times shall be had.
The XX's are so awesome!
Other Stuff Last weekend my family rendezvoused in Kentucky to celebrate my grandfather. He passed away in September. He was a good man, and he needed to be celebrated. There was lots of driving involved, and I was most glad to see my hometown and some furry friends, oh and my family.
St. Louis.
Clara.
Brain: Looks like you've been busy. Aaron: Yeah I have. Brain: So when's that food gonna happen? Aaron: I think like right now. Brain: Good call. Aaron: Yeah, I've got the shakes now. Brain: Yeah. Not good. Aaron: Do you think we could get a paper done after foods. Brain: We'll see. Aaron: Ok.
1. The first week of school is over, and I feel as though I will be able to get by this semester. I just wont sleep a lot.
2. Life is good, even when it's hard.
3. Last night I came home at 11:30ish. Outside FNP was finishing up, and the kids next door had a kegger. Seriously, the 900th block of my street was party central. It felt good that all of those kids are back, happy to see their friends, and probably feeling the effects of their reunion. I wont lie though, I cant do the house party scene. I was glad to go inside and read.
